Knowing the mission item, Su Qingwen was anything but happy.
Thinking that she had to steal Huayueye's chamber pot, her outlook on life shattered into pieces, which were then mercilessly trampled on.
Hehe... What can I do? I still have to keep smiling. Exhausted.jpg
Before leaving, Su Qingwen carefully repaired the two - legged stool for Uncle Zhang, put up a new door panel on the door, and out of respect for the old and care for the young, she even swept the yard.
Watching Uncle Zhang happily hold the repaired stool and bid her farewell, she thought kindly in her heart: If Huayueye had not been harmed by Gao Quan since childhood and had lived happily in the Rui Palace, being taken care of by this kind - hearted but absent - minded and hard - of - hearing old man, that would have been wonderful.
Then she shook her head vigorously to clear her mind. Come on, evil people will surely be punished. Setbacks will make him grow. He can do it!
Immediately, Su Qingwen summoned the system in distress. "System, system, please tell me 100 ways to get Huayueye's chamber pot."
[System: Okay, dear... Here are several methods provided by the system for you to choose from. Method A: Steal it when he is off guard. Method B: Use force to snatch it (success rate: 0.1%). Method C: Use your eloquence to trick him into giving you the chamber pot. Method D: Knock him out and take his chamber pot. (Success rate: negligible).]
After hearing the methods, Su Qingwen was speechless.
She asked seriously, "Is there a more law - abiding way? Why are they all about stealing, smashing, robbing or tricking... And what's with those success rates??!" Come on, does it mean she could only steal or trick Huayueye into giving her the chamber pot?
Chamber pot... Forget it. I can't even bring myself to say it. I'll just steal it.
Wait! System, where's my possession skill???! I could possess Huayueye and get it myself! I'm so smart!
[System: ... Well, host, once there's a new skill, the old one... hey... will later be... overwritten... heh.] The system's voice gradually became as soft as a mosquito's. If it had a physical form, it must have felt the host's rage and was ready to run away.
Hearing this, Su Qingwen slowly typed out a question mark:?
Then she flew into a rage and overturned the table. "This lousy game has wasted my youth, squandered my money and... hasn't messed up my sexual orientation yet!!! Anyway, I'm going to destroy you, this lousy game."
The system said cautiously, [System: Dear, are we still going to steal the chamber pot?]
"Of course! Why not! I, Su Qingwen, can defeat monsters even with basic attacks. Even if all my skills are silenced, I won't die!" Su Qingwen's fists cracked as she clenched them tightly.
...
That night, it was pitch - black and windy.
The legendary Su Qingwen, who could defeat monsters with basic attacks, crouched and climbed into Huayueye's bedroom.
"Chamber pot, chamber pot, chamber pot... Where are you?" Su Qingwen bent down to search while sniffing, trying to locate the target by smell.
[System: Although it's inspiring, the scene is too much to bear.]
"Shut up! If it weren't for this lousy setting, would I have to lose face like this??!" Someone flew into a rage.
The system wisely muted itself.
Found it! Su Qingwen's eyes lit up. She took out a golden chamber pot from under the rosewood carved couch. Sure enough, it had the pattern of a little monkey. "Hehe, I got it!" Su Qingwen tossed her head proudly and was about to slip away.
Just then, there suddenly came the sound of the curtain being pulled.
"The servant pays respects to Your Majesty and welcomes Your Majesty."
... Aaaaaah, why did Huayueye come back? If he sees me holding his chamber pot, he'll surely think I'm a pervert. How can I hold my head up in the future?
Su Qingwen swallowed hard. Looking at the couch from which she had taken the chamber pot, she had a sudden idea. She crawled under it with her golden chamber pot, sticking her butt out.
At this time, the lamp was lit, and Huayueye walked in. He didn't notice anything unusual in the room.
Phew, she escaped. Su Qingwen let out a sigh of relief. Before she could even celebrate her narrow escape, she felt the place where she was hiding shake violently.
Huayueye got up and lay down on the couch, tossed and turned, front and back. The veins on Su Qingwen's forehead popped out:? Is Huayueye a hyperactive child? Can't he just sleep properly?
This was really unfair to Huayueye. He just regarded the couch as a yoga mat. An excellent emperor should not only have a devilishly handsome face but also charming, muscular physique. So, he started his nightly routine of sit - ups, push - ups, and even mountain climbers on it.
Su Qingwen desperately endured the "house - wrecking" by the "naughty kid" on the ceiling and made a big note against Huayueye in her revenge notebook.
Very good, Huayueye. I always thought you were an arrogant wolf with a big tail, but now it seems you've been disguising yourself as a husky for too long.
Finally, after Huayueye stopped moving around... that is, after finishing his workout, Su Qingwen faced another great ordeal in her life.
Huayueye started taking a bath.
Unlike Li Ruhua's bath last time, Huayueye's bathing process was less elegant but more wild and efficient. His well - defined muscles were like a sculpture. The mist on them turned into crystal water droplets that went to places Su Qingwen couldn't reach. The water stains were like a thin layer of sweat, and his skin gradually became moist, as if coated with honey, making him even more alluring...
Who can resist this...
[Host: You seem to be having a nosebleed...]
Su Qingwen: ... Be quiet. Don't disturb me while I'm admiring the handsome man.
After losing so much blood, Su Qingwen finally managed to hold on until Huayueye fell asleep. The room was completely dark. She silently waited for Huayueye's breathing to become even, thinking he was sound asleep. Then she crawled out from under the couch with the chamber pot in her arms and was about to run away.
However, just as she sat on the windowsill with the chamber pot in her arms, she heard Huayueye ask in confusion, "Su Qingwen? What are you doing here? And why are you holding my... chamber pot." He even emphasized the word "chamber pot"!
Shit! Two wide tears streamed down Su Qingwen's face. No, no. I think I can still save this situation! Seeing Huayueye getting closer and closer, Su Qingwen's eyes darted around, and she started to improvise.
She held up Huayueye's chamber pot high and closed her eyes, pretending to be sleep - walking.
She shouted, "The pretty boy we snatched today looks good. Brothers, you've all worked hard!"
Huayueye: "..." What's this all about? Is Su Qingwen sleep - walking?
Su Qingwen continued, "Don't be polite. These gold and jewels are for all of us brothers. Don't be shy. Eat whatever you like!"
Huayueye twitched the corner of his mouth. She'd make a great female bandit even in her sleep. Snatching pretty boys and money. He wanted to wake Su Qingwen up, but it was said that if a sleep - walker was woken up casually, they might foam at the mouth and die from excessive shock.
Su Qingwen stepped on the window frame, raised her left hand as if taking a bite of a chicken leg, and held up Huayueye's chamber pot high. "Everyone has worked hard. Brothers, I'll toast you! Cheers!"
Huayueye watched her holding up the chamber pot and silently covered his eyes, unable to bear to look.
It... It's too much to look at.