I've been single for 24 years, and finally, I have a boyfriend.
During holidays, I used to be like a stray dog scurrying through the streets. But this year, I can finally strut through Valentine's Day with my head held high.
Early in the morning, I sent a WeChat message to my boyfriend, Li Haiwang: [It'll be crowded tonight. Have you made a reservation at the restaurant in advance?]
Li Haiwang: [Of course, I made the reservation ages ago, baby. I'm busy right now. I'll send you the location later!]
Look, what a gentle and considerate boyfriend!
My elder brother was right. It's hard to find a suitable partner after starting work. Classmates we meet during school days are more innocent and reliable.
But Li Haiwang didn't send me the location even by noon.
He probably forgot.
At 1:30 p.m., Li Haiwang sent me a location and added a message: [Cloud Restaurant. See you at 9:30.]
I thought to myself, isn't 9:30 a bit too late?
Then the location was retracted, along with the text "Cloud Restaurant". They both disappeared from my phone, leaving only two embarrassing messages: [Li Haiwang retracted a message].
Me: "..."
After a few seconds, Li Haiwang called me: "Baby, I'm so sorry. I was so busy just now that I sent the wrong message."
My heart skipped a few beats. "… What did you send wrong? I just checked my phone."
There was an obvious sigh of relief on the other end of the phone. "It's nothing. I made a typing mistake. I'll send it to you again."
After hanging up the phone, Li Haiwang sent me a new location with a message: [Piggy Buffet. See you at 6.]
Me: "..."
My experience of watching tens of thousands of episodes of Detective Conan in primary school tells me that I might have been cheated on.
I replied: [Okay. See you at 6.]
Li Haiwang: [Kiss.jpg, Love you.jpg, spamming.]
I immediately called my elder brother: "Where are you?"
My elder brother, Zhou Wubo, is 25 years old. He has amblyopia and is a single dog. He's a blind masseur at an old - fashioned massage parlor. His hands are gentle, but his words are wild: "I'm swamped! What do you want from me?"
"Nothing much." I took a deep breath. "Your sister has been cuckolded."
-
At 6 p.m. that night, at Piggy Buffet.
The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. He takes the mistress to a fancy French restaurant, but takes me to a cheap buffet that costs 89 yuan per person?
My long - held belief that thrift is a virtue suddenly seemed like utter stupidity.
Li Haiwang arrived ten minutes early. He was tall, in good shape, and had a face that looked like a first - love. He was really eye - catching. He handed me a big bunch of roses in his arms: "Baby, Happy Valentine's Day!"
The girls around all cast envious glances at me.
The two of us found a table and sat down.
Li Haiwang glanced at his phone and then put it in his jeans pocket. "Come home with me during the Spring Festival and meet my parents. They like you very much."
Me: "Why do they like me?"
Li Haiwang: "What do you mean? You're so good - looking, pure and kind. You're completely different from those heavily - made - up girls. You come from a good family and work hard. Elders just love girls like you."
Me: "Why do you like me?"
Li Haiwang laughed: "You're the first girl I've ever thought about marrying. You're so cute. It's too dangerous to leave you out there. I have to marry you right away to feel at ease. And, it's 2021. A 24 - year - old girl who still hasn't had her first kiss... that's so rare. But, baby, when can we kiss? You said we have to date for at least three months. I can't wait anymore..."
I deliberately knocked over the water cup, and the drink spilled all over Li Haiwang.
He let out a yelp and stood up. He shook his pants and took out his phone, putting it on the table.
I said: "I'm sorry."
"Don't worry, baby." He still looked good - tempered and rushed to the restroom in a hurry.
That's when I picked up his phone.
Li Haiwang once said that all his passwords were my birthday so that if his phone was lost, no one could guess them.
I tried it.
Damn it, it wasn't!
I took out the fingerprint impression I'd made of his and pressed it on the fingerprint unlock of the phone.
After unlocking it, I was shocked by the screen full of dating apps.
Almost every app had red numbers indicating unread messages.
Li Haiwang.
Are you a dating app tester?
I opened WeChat.
He had a date with Little A at Cloud Restaurant at 9:30.
He had a date with Little B at Night Bar at 11.
He had a date with Little C at Hilton Hotel in the early morning.
He wasn't just a playboy.
He was a master of time management!
-
I put the phone back.
Li Haiwang cleaned himself up and rushed back in a hurry.
I picked up my bag and said to him: "I'm sorry. My company suddenly needs me to work overtime. I can't stay with you."
Li Haiwang was a bit surprised: "You haven't eaten anything. You can't work overtime on an empty stomach. Let me buy you something to take to the company? I'll take you there?"
Me: "No need. You eat more. Eat my share too."
-
As soon as I left the restaurant, I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I felt cold all over, and my skin ached, as if being bitten by many little ants.
I felt empty, helpless, on the verge of collapse, and wanted to cry.
Afraid of losing my composure, I took a taxi home. If I couldn't help but cry out loud, only the driver would see me make a fool of myself.
Thankfully, I didn't cry.
When I got home, I opened the fridge and took out the leftover takeout from yesterday to heat it up.
But then I thought, I was already heartbroken over a breakup, and now I was still eating yesterday's leftovers. How pathetic!
So I ordered a takeout, a Pizza Hut meal that I usually couldn't bear to order.
Eating the hot pizza, the coldness in my body finally faded a bit.
I called my best friend who had married and moved to another city. I cried my heart out. After she scolded me for being a "fool and an idiot for being cheated by a scumbag" and told me to "break up immediately" and that "the next one will be nicer", I finally felt a bit better.
-
At 9:30 p.m.
My phone rang. It was a message from Li Haiwang: [Baby, still working overtime?]
I looked at my phone. At this time, according to his schedule, he should be at Cloud Restaurant.
So I replied: [Why would I be working overtime? Should I be at Cloud Restaurant with you and Little A, celebrating Valentine's Day?]
Li Haiwang immediately called me. "Baby, please listen to my explanation..."
I interrupted him: "I advise you to save your breath and explain it to Little A's husband. He should be coming soon. Oh, by the way, you probably don't know that Little A is married. Her husband is a coach at a taekwondo gym. Good luck to you!"
Little A was the owner of the barbershop Li Haiwang often went to. Her husband worked at a taekwondo gym and was my coach. Once when I was chatting with him, I found out that Little A was his wife. But obviously, Little A hadn't told Li Haiwang that she was married.
A playboy meeting a slut. What a perfect match!
Li Haiwang was probably scared out of his wits. He stammered: "It's not what you think, baby. Don't misunderstand..."
I interrupted him again: "Break up, you scumbag!"
Then I hung up the phone decisively, deleted and blocked all his contact information. You piece of trash! Get out of my world!
-
A week later.
Zhou Wubo called me: "I've beaten that scumbag every day for a whole week. I beat him every time I see him, just like clocking in for work. I don't even take weekends off. Your brother can't see, but I'll still beat that bastard to death even if I'm just swinging blindly!"
I sighed: "Stop doing this, brother. Beating him will only dirty your hands. It's not worth it."
Zhou Wubo: "Can you swallow this humiliation?"
Me: "I'm just so disappointed in myself. I can't figure out why I was cheated by a scumbag?"
Zhou Wubo: "What's so hard to understand? You're just too innocent and easy to deceive."
I was hurt: "… You're really my biological brother."
Zhou Wubo: "It's not your fault that you're easy to trust others. He's the trash, the scumbag, the piece of shit. How can you blame yourself?!"
"No." Through this incident, I realized, "Being innocent and kind will only get you cheated. I must learn to recognize scumbags so that I won't fall in the same place twice!"
Zhou Wubo clapped his hands and said: "Well said!"
Me: "Brother, you know so many people. Do you know any sluts?"
Zhou Wubo: "If I knew a single slut, I wouldn't be single now. But I do know quite a few scumbags."
Me: "Introduce one to me."
Zhou Wubo was shocked: "Zhou Yinyin, what are you up to? Don't give up on yourself, you hear me!"
"I need to make some experienced friends. I'm a female programmer. My social circle is too small. I'm inexperienced and that's why I was cheated." I reflected on my mistake: "If I want to recognize scumbags, I need to understand their thoughts and figure out their tricks. Only then can I be immune to their tricks!"
"Good!" Zhou Wubo said approvingly: "That's my sister! Pick yourself up where you fell. Brother supports you. Wait a minute. Let me see if there's a suitable candidate. I'll send you his WeChat later. I just bought you a cup of hot milk tea and asked the delivery guy to send it to your place. Drink the milk tea later and go to bed early. Don't be sad about that dog - man. It's not worth it."
Not long after the call ended, the milk tea arrived.
It wasn't until I finished the milk tea that Zhou Wubo sent me the other person's WeChat: [Cheng]
Zhou Wubo called again: "This one is the ultimate scumbag. He doesn't have a job. He just lives off his boyfriends. We guys all look down on him..."
"Wait a minute," I caught the key word, "Boyfriends?"
Zhou Wubo: "Yeah. He's gay and the submissive one. That's why I'm not worried about introducing him to you."
Me: "Oh."
Zhou Wubo: "I told him that you're inexperienced in dating and you're coming to him for advice. He readily agreed. He's a nice guy, but a bit of a drama queen. Don't just come out and ask him how to be a scumbag right away. That's how he makes a living. It's not good to be too direct. Be smart when you try to get information from him. Pay attention to how he tricks those men, just like an undercover journalist. Got it?"
I perked up again: "Got it!"