Let's go into the boss's office and have a detailed talk.
The boss said, "Do you know what kind of game we're developing?"
I thought about the props I saw outside just now. "Exorcism?"
The boss replied, "Summoning ghosts."
Me: "…Okay."
The boss asked, "Are you afraid of ghosts?"
I didn't want to lose my job on the first day, so I lied and said, "I love watching horror movies. I'm crazy about ghosts!"
The boss said, "Good. You used to work on enterprise software development, right?"
Me: "Yeah. There shouldn't be much difference between enterprise software development and game software development, right?"
The boss: "Not much. Software programmers need to work overtime, while game programmers need to work themselves to death. That's all."
Me: "…"
The boss continued, "We need to master more technologies in game development than in other software. You need to understand game - related algorithms. But since you like horror movies, that's great. Interest is the best teacher. You'll like this job."
Me: …
The boss asked, "By the way, do you usually dress like this?"
Me: "Oh, no. It's my first day at work today. Usually… I dress about the same as you guys."
After the tour, I found that my style clashed with that of my zombie - like colleagues. To fit in with the new group as soon as possible, I had to dress like them.
Then the boss said, "I'll give you an extra 2,000 yuan every month as a subsidy for your cosmetics and clothing. My requirement is that you must wear makeup every day. Dressing up to the same level as today is fine. It's mainly to boost the team spirit and motivate those unmotivated female colleagues who dress more like men than men. They don't even treat us men as real men."
Me: "…Okay, thanks, bos—"
The boss: "Huh?"
Me: "Thanks, Gege."
The boss smiled brightly. "Good."
-
I got familiar with the work and easily completed the task on my first day. Then I went home after work.
On the subway, bored, I sent a voice message to Mr. Cheng: [Thanks to you, I've got a new job. My colleagues in the company are very friendly, the salary is high, and the boss is really handsome! The boss gave me a 2,000 - yuan raise, saying that I dress nicely and can boost the employees' morale. They're all so interesting, and the horror games they design are really fun.]
Mr. Cheng sent a text message: [You're working in a game development company?]
Oh.
NO.
I forgot I pretended to be blind.
Me: [Yeah. I'm a game software engineer. I'm working hard every day to overcome my physical disability.]
I sent him a selfie I took this morning: [A worker without makeup has no soul. I'm going to be the most dazzling one in the company!]
Mr. Cheng didn't reply.
-
The next morning, I got up late because I stayed up late playing our company's game, "Summoning Ghosts". It's so much fun that I couldn't stop playing.
Looking at the table full of foundation, beauty blenders, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick…
I thought about having to soak the beauty blender first, let it expand, then apply primer, dot on the foundation, pat it out with the blender, draw the eyeliner, curl the eyelashes, apply mascara, and then add contour, highlighter, lipstick, and setting powder…
To hell with being the most dazzling one!
I'm not going to wear makeup anymore!
I quickly brushed my teeth, washed my face, put on my clothes, and went out without makeup.
On the subway, bored, I sent a WeChat message to Mr. Cheng: [Putting on makeup is too difficult. There are too many steps. Forget it. I don't want the 2,000 - yuan bonus!]
Surprisingly, he replied. But instead of typing a message, he sent a screenshot of a funny online meme, which read:
[When a girl only wears lipstick without makeup. Straight guys: She's wearing makeup.]
[When a girl wears a full face of makeup but no lipstick. Straight guys: She's wearing no makeup today.]
Well, well.
Not bad.
The iceberg has made progress.
He's starting to battle me with online memes to match my act of forwarding the old people's posts on the Moments last night!
This is a qualitative leap!
Anyway, I was about to be late. I might as well give it a try. I quickly put on a bright red lipstick and went to the company.
The boss glanced at me.
I nervously swallowed my saliva. "Good morning, Gege."
All the colleagues stared at me at the same time.
The female colleagues' looks were especially venomous.
What's going on?
Did I say something wrong?
The boss smiled. "Good morning, Xiaozhou. Everyone should learn from the new colleague. Paying attention to appearance is also a basic respect for this job."
Yes!
I actually managed to get away with it!
A lipstick can get me a 2,000 - yuan bonus!
It's so worth it!
Mr. Cheng really understands men!
-
After sitting down at my desk, I told Mr. Cheng this good news, but he didn't reply again.
This guy is really cold.
-
I'm a very hard - working person. I got the hang of my new job in just a few days and soon experienced what "working 24/7 on games" means.
Working from early morning until the next morning, with no days off all year!
It turns out that the truth behind my salary raise is: the hourly wage remains the same, only the working hours increase!
I finally understand why my colleagues in this company are willing to live in the company dormitory. It's not to save money, but to save a few hours of commuting time to sleep!
The employee dormitory is on the floor above the company. The boss is really nice and arranged a single room for me. There are also two girls sharing a bed. I'd like to share a bed too, but the only single colleagues left are men.
After living there for only two days, I understand why my colleagues are so slovenly.
Think about it. Everyone sees each other from morning till night. There's no privacy at all in eating, drinking, and sleeping. They're more bored with each other than a married couple of ten years.
Why bother putting on makeup? I'm even too lazy to change my pajamas!
So, getting up an hour early every day to put on makeup in front of the mirror seems particularly pretentious and scheming, like a green - tea bitch. It makes the female colleagues dislike me very much.
Once when I was in the restroom, I heard some female colleagues whispering about me, saying that I wanted to chase the boss.
I immediately rushed out of the toilet and asked them excitedly, "What? The boss is single?"
Now they don't dare to talk about me anymore.
They just look at me with a bit of fear, like the decent characters in a palace - intrigue drama are afraid of the ruthless and high - level villain with a smiling face.
-
My elder brother was worried about me. Afraid that I wouldn't get used to the new working environment, he came to visit me specially.
When the male colleagues heard that it was my elder brother, they all gathered around. "Hello, brother - in - law!"
My elder brother was so scared that he thought I had become a slag girl after being cheated on by a scumbag. Then he found out that they were just joking and felt relieved.
Zhou Wubo said, "Find a boyfriend when you meet the right one. I think they're all quite honest. They're like they've never seen a woman before…"
Me: "…Your sister is beautiful."
Zhou Wubo: "I'm not blind. I know you're beautiful."
Me: "True. But now, after being inspired by your friend, I've realized that young people shouldn't fall in love when they should be struggling."
Zhou Wubo: "That's great. Although your brother helps people massage in the store every day, I also do some side jobs to make some extra money."
Me: "Amazing. What side jobs?"
Zhou Wubo: "Stock trading and buying funds."
I wasn't interested.
My elder brother said to himself, "You can buy the fund products launched by Baoou Fund Company recently. As soon as they were launched, all the netizens flocked to buy them. It's so damn popular. I've invested all the money in my small treasury. Fortunately, I was in time. If you have money, buy them quickly. It'll be too late if you hesitate."
Me: "You're such a cautious person, but you're investing so much money. Is this fund really that profitable?"
My elder brother: "You know how good my judgment is. This product is managed by a very powerful star fund manager. He's a dark horse in the fund - manager circle! The key is that I trust this guy. He used to come to our store for a massage. I often talked to him then. It was him who taught me how to make extra money. He can earn more than 100,000 yuan a year. I still have his WeChat on my phone…"
Me: "Wow, bro, you're really well - connected. You even know such a powerful person?"
Zhou Wubo: "That's right! People in this line of work stare at the screen day and night. Backaches and sore waists are just common things. The company he worked for at that time was just near our store. Sometimes when he was tired, he would come for a massage. He's a very down - to - earth person. After all, our family is a time - honored traditional Chinese medicine family. But later he went to Hong Kong and never came again. By the way, you once gave him a massage. Do you remember?"
Me: "Really?"
Zhou Wubo: "Yeah. It's that guy! When you were a freshman and came to work in the store, we were short - handed, so we asked you to give him a massage. He wasn't happy about it. He was probably shy. Then I asked you to pretend to be blind, and he reluctantly agreed!"
"Come on, it's him." I was immediately disappointed. "He's such a difficult - to - serve man! The massage room was so dark, and he buried his face in the breathing hole of the massage bed face - down. Who could see what he looked like? What's wrong with me taking a look? Will he lose his virginity if a woman sees his upper body?"
Zhou Wubo: "Who asked you to look at what he looks like? As long as he's capable, that's enough. Listen to your brother. If you have money, go and buy his fund quickly. The average annual return is surely over 100%!"
Me: "I won't buy it!"
Zhou Wubo: "Why?"
Me: "I hate him!"