I was wearing a fluffy pajamas and slowly wriggled off Cheng Yu like a chubby white rabbit.
Cheng Yu seemed to need a long time to calm down. Looking like a victim violated by a hooligan, he severely scolded me, "How come you, a girl, don't know... be more careful!"
"Be more careful?"
I tilted my head and looked at him. Although I was reluctant, after thinking it over, I guessed he probably meant to say, "How come you, a girl, are so promiscuous!"
I felt offended. I took the initiative to get close to someone but was scolded for being promiscuous. Was it really necessary...
Me: "You're not just any other man. I've never behaved like this with other men. I only act like this with you. What's the big deal!"
Cheng Yu was so angry that he almost kicked me flying. "Am I not a man?!"
I was stunned: You are, but in my eyes, you're like the same gender...
Isn't it normal for close girlfriends to be physically affectionate with each other?
But it didn't seem appropriate to just say directly, "I don't think you're a man." So I seriously reflected on myself and sincerely apologized to Cheng Yu. "Okay, I'll be more careful next time. I promise. I won't forget the boundaries between men and women just because you seem so approachable. I'm sorry, Cheng Yu. I don't know why, but I just can't control myself. I can't help but want to get close to you..."
Cheng Yu interrupted me impatiently. "Enough!"
Me: "Then... should we continue the massage?"
Cheng Yu: "Goodbye."
Me:?
With a bang, when he closed the door and left, it even seemed like he was fleeing in a hurry.
Damn it.
Those TV drama screenwriters who deceived me about gay friends should come out right away!
Who said that gays can be like sisters with girls regardless of gender? Art comes from life. Have you screenwriters ever been best friends with a gay?
It's so fucking difficult!
-
My colleagues came back from the hot spring. When they got home, they all let out an "ooh" of amazement. "Which fairy sister cleaned up the house so clean and luxurious like a five - star hotel!"
Me: "..."
It wasn't a fairy sister.
It was a fairy brother.
"Damn it, Zhou Yinyin, you're hogging all the food when you're alone at home!" Qi Jiayuan had sharp eyes. As soon as he entered the door, he saw the strawberries and cherries on the dining table. He opened his big mouth and stuffed them into his mouth like they were free. "Woohoo, they're so delicious, woohoo..."
"Spit them out quickly. They're very expensive!" I rushed over quickly, but it was already too late. My colleagues were like a pack of hungry wolves, and they snatched up all the expensive fruits that Cheng Yu had bought for me.
Woohoo, you bunch of bandits...
I should have hidden them in my quilt and eaten them secretly by myself.
-
It had been a week since I crossed the line and annoyed my gay friend last time.
I chatted with him from time to time, but he just ignored me.
I complained to him bluntly. "Are you a real man? You always need to be coaxed!"
And it's so hard to coax you! It's so annoying!
Cheng Yu retorted. "Don't men deserve to be coaxed?"
Me: "..." Well, not really.
It's just that generally no girl would coax a man like I do.
So.
Is this the reason why you have so many boyfriends?
-
Finally, on a weekend evening, Cheng Yu called me on his own initiative. "I have something to do and need to go away for a few days. Are you convenient to take care of Tangqiu?"
I was so happy that I ran around the house. "Sure, I'm convenient!"
Soon, Cheng Yu drove Tangqiu to the company downstairs.
Before leaving, he told me again and again not to let the female dog next door come into contact with Tangqiu.
I told him sincerely, "I specially borrowed a dog fence to block the door. Not even a female fly can fly in. You can rest assured!"
After giving me Tangqiu's dog food, snacks, toys, and a small cushion, Cheng Yu left.
I squatted down and patted Tangqiu's head. "Old handsome guy, shall we go on a honeymoon?"
Tangqiu stuck out its tongue and barked, "Woof!"
Look how happy the old guy is!
-
Although I had informed my colleagues and the boss, when I led Tangqiu into the company gate, it still caused everyone to scream and gather around.
"My god! It's so handsome! It's like a heavenly dog descending to the earth!"
"Is this a show - class dog?"
"Those white eyebrows are definitely a symbol of a purebred sled dog!"
"It's so majestic. It looks like a wolf!"
The majestic Tangqiu seemed to understand the compliments and raised its head proudly. "Woof!"
After everyone took turns to admire it, Tangqiu started its happy holiday.
It ate snacks for a while, drank some water for a while, and then I led it to the park to check out the female dogs.
I found that it was very picky. It didn't even bother to look at the most beautiful female dogs.
Most of the time, it just licked its fur and was an independent and beautiful dog.
So this is the reason why you're single.
-
I took some photos of Tangqiu happily sunbathing on the grass and sent them to Cheng Yu. He was very satisfied. "It's smiling."
Hehe.
Of course. You're always out fooling around with men and leaving it alone at home.
Now that it's with me, it must be extremely happy.
When I led Tangqiu back to the company and passed by the next - door office, the leash suddenly wouldn't move.
I looked down and saw that Tangqiu was standing still. Through the glass, it had fallen in love at first sight with another Alaskan Malamute in the next - door office.
One was black, the other was gray.
One was male, the other was female.
One was called Tangqiu, the other was called Tiandou.
They were quite a match.
Rarely, there's a girl that you, Tangqiu, take a fancy to.
But she's only four years old. You should stop being an old dog trying to seduce a young girl.
Moreover, your owner won't allow it.
So I brutally separated this loving couple.
I took Tangqiu back to the office.
Tangqiu was quite silent all afternoon. From time to time, it would raise its head and look in the direction of the next - door office, missing its beauty... no, its beautiful dog.
I spent a long time coaxing it with snacks and toys before it forgot about this and lay down on the thick carpet to sleep.
-
I had to go to the toilet.
I asked Zhang Yuan to watch Tangqiu for me.
But when I came back, Tangqiu was gone.
I gave Zhang Yuan a good scolding. "I asked you to watch the dog!"
"It's okay. All the doors are locked here. Can it fly away?" Zhang Yuan pointed to the stairs. "It seemed to go upstairs. Maybe it went to the rooftop to poop."
I quickly ran upstairs, afraid that a single hair on the dog would be missing.
When I reached the rooftop, thankfully, the dog was there.
But there were two of them.
One black one was Tangqiu, and the other gray one was Tiandou from next door.
Is this the power of love?
The two dogs actually met on the public balcony for a tryst!
Eww?
Their postures seemed a bit strange.
Tangqiu was on top of Tiandou, and its lower body was constantly thrusting wildly!
Crack!
It was like a thunderbolt from a clear sky!
Is it doing that... that thing?
Oh my god, I'm dead! I deserve to die!
"Stop, stop quickly!" I ran over to chase Tangqiu away, but then an even more tragic scene appeared. Their private parts were connected and couldn't be separated!
"Awooo—" The two dogs seemed to be scared by me, but they couldn't separate and kept howling. I was so scared that my heart was pounding and my legs were shaking. What was going on? I'd never seen this before. How could they be connected and not be able to separate...
I was so panicked that I called Cheng Yu on a video call. As soon as the video was connected, I closed my eyes and pointed the camera at Tangqiu. I said to Cheng Yu, "I'm so so so sorry, Cheng Yu! Tangqiu lost its virginity, aaaaah!!"