It was a fine day when Liu Shiyao entered the palace. The clouds that had gathered for days had dispersed, and the sun finally showed itself. She sat in a sedan chair, traveling from the Prime Minister's Mansion to the palace.
Although the journey to the palace wasn't very long, in Liu Shiyao's heart, it felt like the longest road she had ever walked.
She also knew that once she entered the palace, she would lose her freedom forever. She would spend the rest of her life in the palace, guarding an empty title.
Moreover, she would never see Luo Nan again.
After entering the palace, Liu Shiyao stayed quietly in Yongning Palace, waiting for the arrival of the emperor. The red dress on her swayed in the candlelight, and the lotus flowers embroidered on it looked so vivid.
This wedding dress was also a shackle, locking her in and preventing her from escaping.
When the emperor came, he seemed to have been drinking. His steps were a bit unsteady. Liu Shiyao looked up and met a pair of extremely clear eyes.
Qing Jing placed the wine jug on the table. Looking at Liu Shiyao sitting quietly on the chair, there was no expression on his face. He waved his sleeve and sat down. After taking a sip of wine, he calmly said, "I know you're reluctant to enter the palace. You're on good terms with the queen. I won't force you. Just go through the motions today for the Prime Minister's sake."
Liu Shiyao listened to his words quietly, with no expression on her face. She just curtsied and said, "I'll leave it all to your Majesty's decision."
Qing Jing looked at her and didn't say much more. Then he took another sip of wine.
That night, she accompanied Qing Jing in drinking glass after glass of wine, but his eyes became clearer and clearer. Some people get drunker the more they drink, but for the emperor, the more he drank, the more sober he became.
Liu Shiyao was a smart woman. She could tell that the emperor was not satisfied with this marriage. In the harem, all the concubines were just a matter of interest. He had just ascended the throne and his foundation was not stable yet. He didn't even have the right to refuse the concubines sent by the officials.
When facing these concubines in the harem, he had to be on guard every night.
It was ridiculous to say that in this huge harem, there was no one he could completely trust. He was unhappy about this marriage, and so was Liu Shiyao.
They were both poor souls.
After that night, Liu Shiyao rarely went out in the palace. She didn't miss any of the palace etiquette, but she just didn't want to go out.
She would have plenty of time to look at the palace in the future, so there was no need to rush.
Shen Mingyue, who entered the palace earlier, would often come to visit her. At that time, she wasn't the queen yet. Because her family's official position was not high, she was just a monthly concubine.
She would come to talk to Liu Shiyao and try to persuade her, but Liu Shiyao understood all the reasons. She just couldn't get over the hurdle in her heart.
Until one day, she saw Luo Nan again.
It was the first winter after she became the imperial concubine in the palace. The snow this year came earlier than usual. It was just the beginning of winter, and the first snow had already fallen.
As soon as it snowed, the temperature suddenly dropped. Liu Shiyao had a lot on her mind, so she fell ill immediately.
The imperial physician who came to see her stood outside the curtain. Liu Shiyao propped her head up with one hand, her eyes slightly closed. She stretched her hand out of the curtain for the imperial physician to feel her pulse.
"I've just caught a cold. Just prescribe a few decoctions to dispel the cold. Report like this when you go back," Liu Shiyao rubbed her temple and said lazily.
"The imperial concubine doesn't have an ordinary cold. She has a heart disease. If it's not cured, this illness won't get better," the imperial physician's voice was low, but it still clearly reached Liu Shiyao's ears. She suddenly retracted her hand. The curtain fluttered slightly. She sat up and saw the person kneeling in front of her.
Although they were so close, she had never felt the distance between them was so far.
Now Liu Shiyao didn't even have the courage to open the curtain.
"Then according to you, how should this heart disease be treated?" Liu Shiyao held her trembling hand tightly because of excitement and forced herself to say this sentence calmly.
The imperial physician's tone remained unchanged. He whispered, "Abandon the feelings that shouldn't be there and erase the past memories. Only in this way can she recover."
"Luo Nan, how can you say such a thing!" Hearing the other person's answer, Liu Shiyao couldn't hold back and opened the curtain. She walked barefoot in front of him.
Her beautiful eyes were filled with tears. She never thought she would meet him again after entering the palace, but now that they finally met, he said such words to hurt her.
Luo Nan still knelt there motionless, but his expression was extremely calm. He looked at Liu Shiyao's bare feet and his eyebrows twitched slightly. "The imperial concubine will catch a cold like this."
Liu Shiyao ignored his words. She walked in front of him and squatted down, but Luo Nan never looked up to meet her eyes.
"Do you really...erase all our memories clean?" Liu Shiyao laughed self - deprecatingly.
"But can you really forget?"
"I'm the imperial concubine's imperial physician. I dare not overstep my bounds."
"If you can really draw such a clear line between our relationship, why don't you dare to look me in the eye?"
"Luo Nan, you can't even look into my eyes."
"Because you can't forget!"
Liu Shiyao said this with a smile. Under the seemingly pressing words was her inner struggle.
"Imperial concubine!" Luo Nan's voice was a bit louder. It was also the first time he looked up and stared directly at her.
The other person frowned tightly. There was pity and respect in his eyes, but there was no love.
It was also at this time that Liu Shiyao clearly understood that it was always only her who was trapped in this relationship and couldn't get out.
Luo Nan recognized the relationship between them clearly. Liu Shiyao was the imperial concubine. She had entered the palace. He couldn't take her away at that time, so he couldn't let her be gossiped about later.
So he walked on thin ice in the palace, reminding himself again and again of their current relationship. If there were things that Liu Shiyao couldn't forget, then he would do it.
This was the best result for both of them.
After that, as he thought, Liu Shiyao sealed all the past memories. She became a qualified imperial concubine.
The relationship between her and Luo Nan was only that of a master and a servant.
Luo Nan was her exclusive imperial physician. The distance between them never went beyond that curtain.
Even when they got closer, it was just the distance between inside and outside the curtain.
And their distance could only stop there.
Sometimes, Liu Shiyao would be in a daze and think of the past. Before entering the palace, their relationship was so close, but now there was only this curtain left.
She also checked why Luo Nan suddenly entered the palace. He was sent into the palace by her father himself.
Her father knew that she still missed Luo Nan even after entering the palace. Since she had no intention of competing for favor, it would naturally have an impact on his political career. So he sent the person Liu Shiyao couldn't let go of into the palace.
Seeing each other every day but not being able to get close because of their different identities.
This was a reminder and also a threat.
If Liu Shiyao didn't follow his wishes, since Luo Nan could enter the palace safely, he could also leave the palace silently.
By then, all she would see would be a corpse.
In order to protect Luo Nan, Liu Shiyao had to strive to win the emperor's favor. Only in this way could she gain a foothold in the harem and protect the person she wanted to protect.
Three years had passed since she entered the palace. Her hands were stained with several lives. She could kill without blinking an eye all those who threatened her or harmed her secretly.
From being full of loopholes at the beginning to being unnoticed later, she had really changed a lot in these three years.
"Sometimes, does Imperial Physician Luo ever fear me?" Liu Shiyao looked at Luo Nan who was lowering his head to give her an acupuncture treatment and suddenly said this.
Luo Nan didn't understand why Liu Shiyao would ask this question, but he still replied, "The imperial concubine is of noble status. No one dares to be disrespectful to her."
Liu Shiyao gently shook her head. She withdrew her hand from Luo Nan's and looked at the red nail polish on her fingertips. It was as red as blood.
"My hands are stained with too much blood. Sometimes in the middle of the night when I wake up from a dream, I can hear wailing in my dream. Even now, I'm afraid of myself..." Liu Shiyao said and then lowered her eyes. She clenched her hands into fists.
She closed her eyes tightly, and the knot between her eyebrows would never be smoothed out. At this time, her hand was suddenly held.
Liu Shiyao opened her eyes and met Luo Nan's gaze. He deliberately dodged her gaze and lowered his head to carefully pinch the tiger's mouth of her hand. "The imperial concubine thinks too much, so it's inevitable that she can't sleep at night. I'll prescribe a soothing decoction later. If you take it on time, you should be able to sleep well."
Liu Shiyao watched Luo Nan's actions. She opened her mouth, but in the end, she didn't say anything.
This was already good enough...it was already good enough...
"I'm tired," Liu Shiyao withdrew her hand and said lazily.
After Luo Nan packed up his medical box, he stood up and bowed in Liu Shiyao's direction. "Then I'll take my leave first."
"No, wait outside the door. I want to sleep without any precautions today," Liu Shiyao said.
"...Yes."
Luo Nan packed up his medical box and walked to the door. He turned back, his hand on the door frame. He saw the curtain in the room fluttering high in the wind, and in the middle of the curtain was a blurry figure.
Luo Nan gently closed the door. He stood at the door looking at the sky in the distance. Suddenly, he thought it would be nice if time could stop at this moment.
Liu Shiyao had to learn to move forward in the harem. She used to despise those dirty means, but now she had to do them.
Luo Nan watched her gradually become like this. For a moment, he didn't know what to say.
What had happened couldn't be changed. He just wanted to do his best to protect her.
Liu Shiyao looked at the blurry figure at the door. For the first time, there were no terrifying screams in her dream. She had a peaceful sleep.
Their relationship went on at a steady pace. But after all, there were too many dirty means in the harem. Even though Liu Shiyao wanted to defend herself, there were still times when she couldn't.
Someone poisoned her daily food. The poison was very strong. In just half an hour, she fell into a coma.
When Luo Nan rushed over, he saw Liu Shiyao in a coma. Her face was extremely pale, her lips were blue and purple, and her brows were tightly furrowed. Her expression was distorted because of the pain.
Seeing Liu Shiyao like this, he panicked immediately. Since entering the palace, he had seen her poisoned many times, but never like this.
He had a premonition that this time, Liu Shiyao would never wake up again.
Luo Nan's hand that was feeling her pulse was trembling. He didn't know how long it had passed before he weakly let his hand drop. He seemed to have lost his soul.
"How is the situation?" Shen Mingyue saw Luo Nan's expression and suddenly had a bad feeling. She hurriedly asked.
Luo Nan held his own wrist. He lowered his head and murmured like a soulless person, "I can't save her...I can't save her...How can I not save her!"
As he said this, he reached out and covered his head, as if he had gone crazy.
Liu Shiyao's pulse was extremely weak now. The poison had invaded her internal organs. Even the immortals couldn't save her now.
Luo Nan felt so powerless for the first time. He had saved Liu Shiyao countless times, but why...why couldn't he this time!
Shen Mingyue didn't believe it, but after inviting several imperial physicians in a row, they all said that there was no way to save her.
The emperor didn't say much when he saw this. Instead, he ordered people to prepare for the funeral.
Luo Nan didn't believe it. He searched through all the ancient medical books, but there was no prescription that could save her.
Just when he was feeling powerless, someone found him.
"I can save her," the person's voice came into his ears with the wind. Luo Nan looked at the empty courtyard and only thought that the voice just now was an illusion.
But the next second, a person stood in front of him. She was wearing a black robe. The wind lifted a corner of her cloak, and he saw the face hidden under the cloak. She seemed to be just of marriageable age.
"Can I trust you?" Luo Nan looked at the person in front of him. Her strange appearance really made it hard to believe.
He didn't dare to take any more risks now.
She smiled and pointed in the direction of Luo Nan's heart. "Now it's not a question of whether you trust me or not. If you want her to live, you have to die yourself."
"What do you mean?"
"Use your heart as medicine and let her take it. Then she can live. But remember, it must be a fresh human heart. Whether she can live or not depends entirely on you."
After saying that, she jumped onto the eaves, and her figure disappeared into the darkness.
Luo Nan covered his chest. He didn't know if he could believe the other person's words, but now there was no other way.
He could only try as a last resort. As long as there was a glimmer of hope, he wanted Liu Shiyao to live.
After making up his mind, he went to Yongning Palace that night. At this moment, Liu Shiyao almost had no breath left. Each breath of hers was extremely laborious.
Seeing her like this made people feel heart - ache.
Luo Nan stroked her messy hair behind her ear and murmured in a low voice, "I couldn't let you escape from this deep palace at that time. Now the only thing I can do is to give my life for you."
"I didn't dare to say this before, but now, this is also the last time I can say this sentence."
"I like you. It has never changed in these years."
Luo Nan said in a low voice. After saying the last sentence, he made the boldest move since entering the palace.
He leaned over and left a kiss on Liu Shiyao's brow. It was very light, just a fleeting kiss, but it had taken all his strength in this life.
Then he took out a dagger from his sleeve and didn't hesitate to insert the dagger into his chest. The process of digging out his heart was very painful, but he never closed his eyes.
Luo Nan wanted to take one more look at Liu Shiyao and imprint her appearance in his mind for the last time.
He dug out his whole heart and used all the last bit of his strength to put the heart into Liu Shiyao's mouth.
Blood slid down from the corner of his mouth. As if it was meant to be, as soon as Liu Shiyao touched the blood, she opened her eyes. Her body ate the heart in her mouth first.
When she came to her senses, she found that her clothes were covered in blood. Liu Shiyao looked down and saw Luo Nan with a blood hole in his chest.
He was lying on the ground, already out of breath.
Liu Shiyao looked at this situation and then thought of the blood in her mouth. She immediately realized that Luo Nan had saved her with his own heart.
Just thinking that she had eaten a person's heart, Liu Shiyao couldn't stop retching. She staggered to Luo Nan's side, hugged his lifeless body, and cried bitterly.
She handled the following things very well, just like what she had done before. She buried Luo Nan's body properly. She watched the coffin being covered by the soil.
Now, all the past really disappeared.
Liu Shiyao saw the letter Luo Nan left for her a long time later. It was placed in a small box. She saw it by accident.
After opening it, it was the memories of the past three years. Luo Nan had written his thoughts and feelings into the letter in the year she entered the palace.
The handwriting was familiar to her, but there were also many things she didn't know.
It was Luo Nan who helped her handle the things she didn't handle well when she killed someone for the first time. He also left evidence for her. If it was discovered in the future, he could come out to take the blame without hesitation.
And at the end of each letter, there would be a sentence.
May Shiyao be safe, happy, and care - free for a hundred generations.
But since the day she entered the palace, she had no right to choose anymore. How could she be care - free?
These were all Luo Nan's wishes. For the first time, she felt that these few thin letters were so heavy.
Liu Shiyao cried as many times as she read the letters. She never thought that there was so much pressure on Luo Nan's heart, and she didn't notice that he had done so many things for her.
When she saw the end, she saw a butterfly hairpin at the bottom of the box. This was the one she had dropped when she confessed to him for the first time. She didn't expect that Luo Nan had kept it until