Shen Qingfeng had never been alone with Lu Yan before.
Not sure if it was to test Lu Yan's strength or simply to get in touch with this guy who loved him but he himself never knew about until his death, Shen Qingfeng invited Lu Yan into the Shen Mansion.
He couldn't quite say what his attitude towards Lu Yan was at the moment. In his previous life, Lu Yan was an enemy standing in the way of his love. They were like strangers to each other, with very little contact. He even couldn't recall what Lu Yan looked like for a while.
If one were to ask when Lu Yan might have secretly harbored feelings for him, racking his brains, Shen Qingfeng could only think of when he was young, just after he met Xia Chuli. At that time, Lu Yan was not very old either. He didn't return to the Northern Kingdom to inherit the title of marquis but stayed in Lige to study with the disciples of the noble families. If there was a chance for them to get in touch, it could only be then. But unfortunately, the time interval was too long. Shen Qingfeng had a very vague memory of many details.
The two walked one after the other along the bluestone path in the Shen Mansion and slowly entered the front hall. When Butler Zhong saw that the Marquis of Dingbei was actually led in by Shen Qingfeng, he immediately prepared the best tea and sent a young servant to wait at the gate of Bian Palace to inform his master, who was about to return from court, of this matter.
The top - grade green tea was served. Shen Qingfeng waved Butler Zhong and several maids out. In an instant, the huge front hall became empty, leaving only Shen Qingfeng and Lu Yan sitting rigidly beside him.
Throughout the process, Lu Yan pursed his lips and said nothing. He seemed very nervous, his whole body tense. His eyes wanted to stay on Shen Qingfeng all the time, but he was afraid of being noticed by Shen Qingfeng, so he could only secretly glance at him. But as sensitive as Shen Qingfeng, he noticed all of Lu Yan's little actions.
Shen Qingfeng remained calm on the surface. He fetched a chair from the side of the table, took the golden sore medicine and clean cloth strips from Butler Zhong at the door, then returned and sat down in front of Lu Yan.
He glanced at Lu Yan faintly and said, "Hand, hold it out."
Lu Yan seemed to be stunned for a moment. He looked at Shen Qingfeng, as if he thought such an elegant person shouldn't see the dirty blood. He didn't move, lowered his head and averted his gaze, saying, "It's just a minor injury. I wouldn't want to trouble... Young Master Shen to worry. I can handle it myself."
"You're injured in your right hand. Even if I give you the golden sore medicine, can you bandage it with one hand?" Shen Qingfeng's tone was neither too warm nor too cold. Just as Lu Yan was about to say something, he saw Shen Qingfeng frown and repeat, "Hold it out."
"..." Shen Qingfeng had said it twice. Lu Yan didn't have the confidence to refuse anymore, so he slowly held out his hand.
His hand was wrapped several times by his own wide sleeve. Shen Qingfeng placed his hand on his own legs and peeled off the layers one by one until he removed the last layer of the wide sleeve. What came into view was Lu Yan's blood - stained palm. In the center of his right palm, there were four clear crescent - shaped wounds, obviously scratched by his own fingernails.
Seeing this, Shen Qingfeng clicked his tongue. Then, for some unknown reason, he grabbed the porcelain bottle of golden sore medicine, opened the cork with his mouth, and poured all the light - yellow powder onto the wound at once.
Suddenly, so much medicine powder seeped into the wound, and the wound was on the palm where the fingers were connected to the heart. Even a battle - hardened guy like Lu Yan, who had been injured countless times, couldn't help but tremble violently in pain. But the next moment, he bit his lips tightly and didn't make any sound.
"Does it hurt?" Shen Qingfeng looked up at him, asking knowingly.
"No," Lu Yan replied simply, his tone very calm.
"..." Shen Qingfeng looked at Lu Yan who had his head down, sizing him up carefully.
It was no wonder that the unmarried girls in Lixia had called him their "dream lover" for so many years. Up close, Lu Yan's face was really incredibly handsome. His eyebrows were as sharp as swords, his nose was as straight as a peak, and his deep eyes with long eyelashes made his appearance second to none in the whole of Lixia.
Now that he thought about it, in his previous life, until his death, he had never heard that the Marquis of Dingbei had ever married a wife or taken a concubine. And after Lu Yan heard the news of his death, he directly rebelled, leading his troops from the Northern Kingdom all the way to Lige, breaking through the gates of Bian Palace. The first thing he did was to go to Qifeng Hall to look for his body.
Could it be that this man didn't marry or take concubines because of him?
At this thought, Shen Qingfeng's heart skipped a beat. He was in a daze for a moment and reached out to touch his chest in confusion.
It was so strange. He always thought that after so many years, his heart had already been broken into pieces by Xia Chuli. It was already very difficult for it to keep beating to sustain his life. He didn't expect that it could still make him feel a little flustered now.
In his previous life, for Xia Chuli's great cause, he had done all kinds of dirty things. Although he wasn't a blood - thirsty and killing - loving person, he would always follow Xia Chuli's orders and lead people to raid the families of the noble families that blocked Xia Chuli. Every time, he would stand by and watch as his subordinates turned the screaming and fleeing people into corpses one by one. The boiling blood would wind its way all the way to his feet. He would lower his head and force himself to adapt, but he would always be tortured by nightmares in the dead of night, tossing and turning in bed and vomiting into the spittoon.
He was the loyal dog of the tyrant Xia Chuli. He was reviled by the whole world. Even Shen Shiqiu and Shen Yu didn't want to see him in the end.
In his previous life, the name of Young Master Ruwei had already become a synonym for evil. He, Shen Qingfeng, was a treacherous official, a lackey, and a villain despised by everyone except Xia Chuli. In the end, he was even given the death penalty by Xia Chuli, and people were overjoyed at his death.
He was abandoned by the whole world and betrayed by the person he loved deeply. But even so, Lu Yan still rushed into Bian Palace, carried his body, and was buried with him in the sea of fire.
Shen Qingfeng smiled self - deprecatingly. A bitter taste suddenly welled up in his throat. He didn't know what expression he should show at the moment. Maybe he should cry, but his tears had already dried up. Even if he wanted to cry, he didn't know what else would come out.
"What's wrong with you?" Seeing Shen Qingfeng suddenly staring blankly at his wound, Lu Yan thought his wound had scared him. He was about to pull his hand back, but Shen Qingfeng held it tightly and he couldn't pull it out for a moment.
The warmth from Shen Qingfeng's palm made Lu Yan feel at a loss all of a sudden.
"Don't move," Shen Qingfeng's voice suddenly softened. He lowered his head again, flattened Lu Yan's right hand with his slender fingertips, then took the cloth strips and, with an extremely gentle movement that was completely different from before, carefully bandaged Lu Yan's injured palm.
Lu Yan sat there stupidly on the chair. He watched Shen Qingfeng's gentle and careful movements. He only felt a warm current spread from his held palm to his face, and his cheeks began to turn slightly red.
When Shen Qingfeng finished bandaging and looked up, he saw such a sight: The legendary invincible Marquis of Dingbei on the battlefield was actually blushing slightly, his eyes dull, staring at him motionlessly as if he was in love for the first time.
If the girls in Lige City saw such a pure - hearted Lu Yan, he didn't know how many of them would believe it.
Shen Qingfeng felt a little uncomfortable being stared at by him. He cleared his throat awkwardly and said loudly, "The bandaging is done, Your Lordship."
Shen Qingfeng withdrew his hand. Lu Yan only felt that the heat in his palm disappeared all of a sudden. He looked at his bandaged palm reluctantly. For a moment, he forgot to hide the look of disappointment in his eyes, which was all caught by Shen Qingfeng.
Although Lu Yan had shown his true feelings in front of Shen Qingfeng several times, and the known fact that "he loved him" had been indirectly or directly proven again and again, Shen Qingfeng didn't want to give Lu Yan any response.
Once bitten by a snake, one is afraid of the well rope for ten years. Xia Chuli had also been very kind to him at first, but in the end, Shen Qingfeng found that he had trusted the wrong person and lived his life in a muddle. Moreover, all his passion and enthusiasm for love had been completely consumed in the more than a decade of entanglement with Xia Chuli in his previous life.
He knew that he couldn't respond to Lu Yan's feelings at the moment.
He also knew that compared to Lu Yan, the most important thing for him to do now was to protect the Shen family.
Shen Qingfeng slowly stood up. He didn't look at the still - dazed Lu Yan but walked to the door. He looked up at the sunlight outside and said softly, "The sun is setting. Father will soon be back from court. If Your Lordship doesn't want to see my father, please leave."
His tone returned to the previous calm one, neither too warm nor too cold. He was directly issuing an order to evict the guest.