Xia Chuli really hadn't slept for two days. Due to the sudden task assigned by King Xia Jie, he needed to learn all about the sacrificial rituals and participate in presiding over them within just a few days. After pulling two all - nighters, he finally couldn't hold on anymore. Using the pretext of delivering the grand fur robe, he came to find Shen Qingfeng.
When Shen Qingfeng saw the dark circles under his eyes, he felt pity in his heart. So he allowed Xia Chuli to sleep in his bed. After all, when they were in the palace, Xia Chuli and Shen Qingfeng used to sleep in the same bed. But for Xia Chuli, it was just not long ago, while for Shen Qingfeng, it felt like a lifetime had passed.
Looking at Xia Chuli lying on the bed, looking at him eagerly, Shen Qingfeng felt a bit embarrassed. He awkwardly pulled out his sleeve, gently stroked Xia Chuli's head, and said, "You haven't slept for two days. Let me light an incense to calm your nerves."
Xia Chuli nodded and rubbed against Shen Qingfeng's palm, saying, "I want the sandalwood - scented one."
Shen Qingfeng laughed amusedly, "The incense to calm nerves is just that. There aren't different scents."
"What scents are there then?" Xia Chuli blinked his eyes.
Shen Qingfeng replied, "There's only the scent of the nerve - calming incense."
Xia Chuli pouted, wrapped himself in the quilt, and moved further inside the bed. He reached out and patted the empty space beside him, saying, "Then come and sleep quickly."
Shen Qingfeng nodded and said, "Okay."
Xia Chuli was so sleepy that after just a few words, his eyelids started to droop. He wrapped himself in the quilt and slowly closed his eyes. Only then did Shen Qingfeng get up. He took out a small box from the bedside drawer. Then he opened the incense burner, inserted all the nerve - calming incense into it, and lit them.
Shen Qingfeng had his own thoughts - he didn't want to sleep in the same bed with Xia Chuli anymore. Whether it was fear or hatred, so many years had passed. He was no longer the Shen Qingfeng who would give up everything for Xia Chuli. The days in Qifeng Palace were still vivid in his mind. His feelings for Xia Chuli had long been buried in his memories along with those empty and lonely days.
If asked what his current feelings for Xia Chuli were, perhaps it was mostly sympathy.
But sympathy was not love.
Shen Qingfeng placed the incense burner on the bedside. With this amount of nerve - calming incense, after smelling it, Xia Chuli, who had been up for two nights, would probably sleep soundly all night. This would give Shen Qingfeng a chance to go and sleep in the next room.
Shen Qingfeng sat on the edge of the bed and quietly looked at Xia Chuli for a while. Just as he was about to get up, he heard a "click" sound from the window of his room.
Then came a familiar voice -
"Qingfeng! I'm here to find you! Surprised?"
Shen Qingfeng's heart skipped a beat. He turned around in a hurry and saw Lu Yan with one foot already stepping over the window.
"I've been drinking with the crown prince all day. I'm really..."
Lu Yan's voice suddenly stopped.
In that instant, Shen Qingfeng instinctively wanted to use his body to cover Xia Chuli who was sleeping on his bed, but it was too late. He clearly saw Lu Yan's expression turn stiff in an instant and then quickly turn cold.
He stared at Xia Chuli who was sleeping soundly on the bed and swallowed the rest of his words.
Shen Qingfeng suddenly stood up and walked towards Lu Yan. "Lu Yan! Don't misunderstand. A Li just..."
"I don't misunderstand." Lu Yan suddenly interrupted him. He looked at Shen Qingfeng and showed a smile uglier than crying. "I came at a bad time. I'll leave now."
In an instant, Shen Qingfeng felt as if his heart had fallen into an ice cellar.
"Lu Yan!"
Lu Yan's figure flashed by the window. Then he used his light - body skill and disappeared.
Shen Qingfeng felt as if a piece of his heart had been suddenly dug out. Without even putting on his outer robe, he rushed out of the door. Bare - footed, he stepped into the snow and shouted around, "Lu Yan! Come back!"
Damn it! Why did he have to run into Lu Yan! He hadn't done anything wrong, but why did Lu Yan have to see this?
Lu Yan had liked him for so long. Finally, he had made up his mind to accept Lu Yan. Now that Lu Yan had seen this scene, what would Lu Yan think? Would he think that he had deceived his feelings? Before, Lu Yan's feelings for him had already been so humble. Would Lu Yan just let go like this?
A dull pain suddenly welled up in Shen Qingfeng's heart. He looked around. Bare - footed, he rushed from his own yard into the front yard, shouting, "Lu Yan!"
At night, the wind and snow grew stronger. His voice was swallowed by the howling north wind, so much so that even the on - duty maids didn't hear it.
There was no reply. All he could hear was the howling wind around him. Shen Qingfeng's nose twitched, and his eyes instantly turned red.
If Lu Yan let go, did it mean that he would never be able to embrace that passion again?
That kind of love that could burn into his very bones, would he never be able to feel it again?
He didn't want that... He didn't want to be alone anymore! The memories of trying to cut himself with a knife alone in Qifeng Hall came surging back. In his memory, he saw his wrists covered in blood from his own cuts... He knew that he had been blind in his past life, but after experiencing such things once, he really didn't want to go through it again. This time, he really wanted to hold on to that warmth.
Scalding tears streamed down. Shen Qingfeng almost shouted hoarsely, "Lu Yan!"
His foot suddenly hurt. Without shoes on, he seemed to have kicked something. His body lost its balance, and he suddenly fell into the snow. Shen Qingfeng let out a muffled groan. The intense pain made him unable to stand up at once. He struggled a few times but fell down again in pain.
The scalding tears fell on the white snow, melting a deep hole in the thick snow. Shen Qingfeng's chest ached sharply. He suddenly clenched his fist and pounded the ground hard, roaring, "Lu Yan!"
Suddenly, a sigh came from beside his ear. The next second, he was enveloped in warmth. A familiar scent came over. Shen Qingfeng opened his eyes wide, and all his tears fell on the man's black robe. Shen Qingfeng's throat tightened. He reached out and hugged the broad - shouldered man tightly, and instantly sobbed uncontrollably.
"Why did you run out without shoes?" Lu Yan's voice was a bit stiff, but the hand holding Shen Qingfeng was extremely warm. He stroked Shen Qingfeng's back and held the trembling man in his arms.
Shen Qingfeng was shaking violently. Whether it was from fear or cold, he hugged Lu Yan tightly. He burrowed into Lu Yan's arms and said in a trembling voice, "Don't leave... Don't leave... Xia Chuli came on his own. I didn't want to sleep with him. I lit the nerve - calming incense for him and was going to find another room to sleep in after he fell asleep... Lu Yan, believe me."
As if seeking confirmation, Shen Qingfeng cried even more bitterly. Lu Yan lovingly lifted Shen Qingfeng's face and wiped the tear - stains on his delicate face with his thumb. Then, he kissed those trembling lips that had been frozen pale.
Shen Qingfeng suddenly opened his eyes wide. The next moment, without hesitation, he wrapped his pale arms around Lu Yan's neck.
The scalding tongue charged forward, raging in Shen Qingfeng's mouth, making him tremble again.
He thought this kiss would last as long as the previous ones, but Lu Yan just kissed him once and then let him go. Shen Qingfeng looked at him doubtfully and shyly leaned forward for another kiss, but Lu Yan suddenly picked him up horizontally. Lu Yan lowered his head and whispered in his ear. His deep voice was heart - rending. "It's too cold outside. Let's go back inside."