At this moment, Mei Feixuan was in a complete panic. Her breathing was ragged, and all traces of her former dignity had vanished. Her pupils were dilated, but she dared not meet Gu Zhiruo's gaze.
To be honest, over the years, Gu Zhiruo had indeed treated Mei Feixuan with kindness and loyalty. She had enjoyed the exclusive favor in the harem, and Gu Zhiruo had taken no other concubines.
However, although she had once convinced herself to enter the harem, she was too ashamed to face the numerous mistakes she had made.
"Your Majesty—"
Gu Zhiruo took Mei Feixuan's hand. The pulse on her wrist was strong and steady.
"My lady, has this king ever wronged you?"
"I—this humble concubine—"
"You and Qi Huan are truly this king's right - hand and left - hand assistants. You've been with this king for many years and have never been pregnant. This king just thought you weren't ready and never forced you. Do you really think this king didn't notice that you've been drinking the contraceptive soup every day since you entered the palace?"
Mei Feixuan was extremely shocked. How did he know? And after knowing, why did he endure it? He was the king of Cangwu. How could he...
Gu Zhiruo tightly grasped Mei Feixuan's hand, seemingly demanding an explanation.
"Your Majesty, this humble concubine didn't."
"At this point, you're still lying. Back then, this king gave you a choice. It was you who chose to enter the palace and said you were willing to stay by this king's side. Did this king ever force you?"
Mei Feixuan kept shaking her head. Tears quietly slid down her face. How could he tolerate his only wife drinking the contraceptive soup every day and still take care of her feelings like this? Did he know everything?
Mei Feixuan placed her hand on her abdomen. There was a pleading look in her eyes, which only stabbed at Gu Zhiruo even more painfully.
Just then, inside the imperial city, flames were rising everywhere, and the sounds of fighting could be heard from all directions.
Mei Feixuan knelt down. It was Qi Huan who had rebelled. Qi Huan had really rebelled.
"Your Majesty, this humble concubine begs you, this humble concubine begs you."
Mei Feixuan's current coquettishness failed to arouse the slightest bit of compassion in Gu Zhiruo. He had long since lost all hope. When she was unwell, he had been extremely concerned. Did she think the imperial hospital was owned by the Qi family? How could her pregnancy be hidden from him?
She had been playing false with him. Gu Zhiruo had given her many chances, hoping she would tell him everything. But she didn't. For the sake of the man behind her, she had endured it all.
Over the years, they had no children. Although the people of Cangwu dared not openly discuss it, many still whispered in private that it was Gu Zhiruo's problem because he had a feminine appearance and was overly delicate. Every time he heard such skeptical remarks, he just smiled it off. He thought she wasn't ready, but he never expected that she simply didn't want to have a child with him.
Losing hope was just a matter of time.
"Qi Huan has rebelled. He has rebelled, and yet you're begging me?"
"Your Majesty, Your Majesty. It's this humble concubine who is shameless. It's this humble concubine's fault. You're so talented and strategic. You must have seen through everything long ago and made your plans. This humble concubine doesn't beg you to spare my life, but the fetus in my womb is innocent."
Tears kept falling. Gu Zhiruo only felt it was ironic. He never thought that the gentle and talented woman who could write beautiful poems would turn into this.
"Your Majesty, you're so kind - hearted. Please spare my child this time, okay? Your Majesty—"
"Absolutely not."
Gu Zhiruo yanked his sleeve out of Mei Feixuan's hand. He walked towards the palace wall gate and looked at the flames rising in the imperial city. He couldn't help but sneer.
"My lady, no, Miss Mei. How could you think that Qi Huan will surely lose? His arrangements over the years have been extensive. There are his spies everywhere in this palace. Otherwise, how could he have had a tryst with you in the Fengqi Palace in broad daylight?"
Mei Feixuan slumped on the ground. She was extremely ashamed.
"This king only regrets that the doors and windows in the Fengqi Palace were personally ordered by this king for you. It was this very window that gave you two the chance for your illicit affair."
Gu Zhiruo closed his eyes. Although he had long since lost hope, at this moment, he still felt sad.
Mei Feixuan collapsed on the ground. Actually, when Gu Zhiruo came to find her tonight, she felt something was wrong. When he questioned her, she also wanted to tell him everything, but she harbored a glimmer of hope.
"Your Majesty, this humble concubine has feelings for you in her heart."
Mei Feixuan said this weakly.
"Have feelings for me?"
These words sounded extremely ironic to Gu Zhiruo at this moment.
Mei Feixuan wiped away her tears and staggered to her feet.
"Your Majesty, don't force me."
"This king forces you? Can this king still force you?"
Gu Zhiruo found it laughable.
Mei Feixuan's look was a bit strange. The next moment, she suddenly laughed. Tears still uncontrollably fell.
"It's this humble concubine's fault. I'm sorry to Qi Huan and even more sorry to you. I fulfilled my past feelings with him but put you in a more dangerous and embarrassing situation."
"It was me who couldn't resist the temptation. It's this humble concubine's fault."
"At that time, the rebels were attacking the city. Your Majesty was busy and fighting on the front line all day long. You cared about the people of Cangwu but didn't consider me in the deep palace. I just couldn't hold back at that time. It was my fault."
Mei Feixuan had read many books. She knew that her past deeds were unacceptable to the world. Now, telling Gu Zhiruo all this was more like an excuse she made for herself rather than an explanation. She clearly knew that being with Qi Huan would ruin the years - long relationship between Gu Zhiruo and her. But she was also a woman. She needed tenderness, and Gu Zhiruo, who was in charge of the world, had no time to care about her feelings.
"So, it's this king's fault."
"It's this humble concubine's fault."
Mei Feixuan staggered towards Gu Zhiruo. She stretched out her hands, but Gu Zhiruo just frowned and didn't embrace her as he used to.
Yes. After what she had done, his embrace no longer belonged to her.
"It's I who have failed you. But Gu Zhiruo, you didn't seek me out back then because you were truly in love with me. It was just because I was well - known and gentle - tempered. You thought I was suitable to be the queen of Cangwu."
"We each had our own goals."
"Yes, we each had our own goals. At first, I also thought that this was our choice and we could stay together like this. But Gu Zhiruo, why, why were you so gentle to me?"
Gu Zhiruo looked puzzled.
Mei Feixuan continued, "If you weren't, how could I have been greedy? How could I have wanted more? I wanted your heart, Gu Zhiruo. I actually dared to want your heart. But your heart wasn't with me. No matter what I did, you were always so indifferent, just looking at me calmly. You made me feel frustrated. I just, just wanted to catch your attention."
Gu Zhiruo was stunned.
Mei Feixuan then approached the palace wall. She turned around and climbed onto the wall in one go, looking completely desperate.
"My lady!"
Gu Zhiruo exclaimed. He saw determination in Mei Feixuan's eyes, and his heart suddenly trembled.
(I was hospitalized some time ago. I had indwelling needles in both hands, so I couldn't update. I just got out of the hospital. I'll make up for all the updates I owe to my readers.)