Ever since the guards caught her in that "affair" with the emperor, Su Qingwen had become a figure of legend in people's mouths.
Every day when Su Qingwen walked on the palace path, she would hear remarks like these:
"Have you heard? The national diviner is with His Majesty now!" a young maid whispered excitedly.
"Sure I have! I've also heard that His Majesty had her seven times in one night, driving her to the peak of pleasure." Another maid's eyes sparkled with curiosity.
What the hell! These people had such vivid imaginations!
Apart from that, there were all sorts of absurd rumors like "His Majesty likes the riding position", "His Majesty actually enjoys being beaten", and "His Majesty is extremely well - endowed". Hearing these, Su Qingwen felt like bowing down to the ancient gossip network.
Damn it! This was like stealing a chicken but losing a handful of rice. Now she couldn't clear her name even if she jumped into the Yellow River.
Su Qingwen hugged her head in distress and started to think of ways to refute the rumors. Put up a notice? No way! That would only make things worse. Pretend to break up with Hua Yueye? That didn't seem reliable either. What if he took advantage of the situation? It would be even more disastrous! If all else failed, she could say he was impotent and couldn't do anything to a woman. But he had concubines, so that excuse wouldn't hold water...
It was so annoying! She gave up thinking. After trying out more than a dozen plans without success, Su Qingwen decided to let things slide and just go with the flow. Wait a minute! Wasn't she at a loss then? Since things had come to this, she should at least get the title of a concubine!
Deng deng deng deng!
A row of little light bulbs seemed to light up above Su Qingwen's head. Her plan worked.
One day, Hua Yueye was reviewing memorials in his imperial study when suddenly Su Qingwen barged in.
Hua Yueye looked up at her, frowning. "Why are you in such a hurry to see me?"
Su Qingwen shuffled her feet awkwardly. "That... that..." Ugh, it was so hard to ask for a title.
Hua Yueye was even more confused. "That what?"
Su Qingwen closed her eyes, mustering up all her courage, and shouted, "Your Majesty, since you've had your way with me, you should at least give me a title!"
Oh~ So she was here to ask for a title.
Hua Yueye, who was deliberately teasing her, gave a sly smile and pretended to think. "Well, although you're plain - looking, have a bad temper, and behave inappropriately, I'm not an ungrateful person. Alright, I'll reluctantly confer the title of concubine on you."
Success! Su Qingwen asked excitedly, "What's the title of the concubine?"
"Fat Concubine."
"No! Change it!"
"Stupid Concubine."
"You're the stupid one! Change it!"
"Idle Concubine."
"Hehe, virtuous and gentle. This one's okay! It suits me perfectly!" Su Qingwen grinned foolishly.
This woman must be crazy to think "virtuous and gentle" described her. Hua Yueye rubbed his forehead.
With the title in hand, Su Qingwen left happily. She felt as if she was walking on cotton, bubbling with happiness all the way.
I've heard that concubines get a monthly stipend! From now on, I can enjoy the VIP treatment in the imperial kitchen! My palace is going to be upgraded too!
It wasn't until Su Qingwen saw the imperial edict that she realized she was named the "Idle Concubine". She flew into a rage.
She cursed in her heart: Damn Hua Yueye! I knew you, that cunning fox, had a lot of tricks up your sleeve!
Humph! The "Idle Concubine" is still a concubine. I'm magnanimous enough not to argue with you.
Thus, there was a new "Idle Concubine" in the harem.
On the first day, Su Qingwen lay on the big bed with exquisite embroidery, delicate carvings, and excellent softness, wiggling her butt and enjoying life. She sang like a pig, "The sun is shining brightly, the big bed is really nice. The Idle Concubine says it's time to take a bath. After waking up, happiness bubbles up!"
On the second day, Su Qingwen summoned the imperial chef to cook delicious food for her. She even wrote down the delicious food she had eaten before and asked the chef to replicate them, like "Finger - Lickin' Good Chicken", "Octopus Balls", "Strawberry Matcha Daifuku"... Then she ran to the toilet frantically with a bulging belly.
On the third day, Su Qingwen crossed her legs and asked the little eunuch to read storybooks to her...
On the fourth day...
On the fifth day...
As days went by, Su Qingwen found the harem life boring. Ah, the harem was so dull! Why couldn't she find any source of entertainment in the harem life?
System, system, what do the women in the harem usually do?
[System: According to historical data statistics, 99% of the concubines choose to engage in harem struggles after entering the palace, dear~]
Oh, my dear system, you've reminded me. I can engage in harem struggles!
Wait a minute. What do the remaining 1% of the concubines do?
[System: They choose to live together with other concubines and live a happy life ever after~]
I see. Wish them happiness.
Oh ho ho! Finally, she found the entertainment in the harem. Immediately, scenes from TV dramas like "Warriors of Future Past", "Empresses in the Palace", and "Warriors of Future Past" flashed through Su Qingwen's mind.
A whole bunch of TV drama scripts with rich harem - struggle plots came to mind. She was looking forward to the scenes of the concubines feigning friendship on the surface while stabbing each other in the back, like a maid rising to power and slapping the queen in the face, one having an abortion while the other sneering, one being a green - tea bitch while the other being a white - lotus bitch. It was going to be so colorful!
Let the harem struggles begin, girl! Let my glorious achievements as Su Qingwen be recorded in history! Su Qingwen's eyes were already glowing green.
Come on, system. Let me know how many enemies I have! Su Qingwen asked confidently.
[System: There are the standard three thousand beauties in the harem, dear~]
Su Qingwen almost knelt down. She dug her ears and asked again, "How many?!"
Three thousand beauties in the harem! Oh my god! How could she possibly compete with them? With her small build, she'd be devoured alive.
Su Qingwen asked shakily, "What do you think my chances of defeating them are?"
[System: If there are three thousand beauties in the harem, it's recommended that the host delete the account and start over~]
Su Qingwen felt dizzy and almost fainted. Sorrowfully, she remembered stories of some concubines being turned into human pigs, some being locked up in the cold palace until they died, and some being pushed into the well... Oh my god! What should she do? The harem was a huge pit. If she jumped in, there'd be nothing left of her. Su Qingwen squatted down and covered her face.
After a long time, Su Qingwen calmed herself down, composed her complex emotions, and announced, "From today on, I'm Su Pingdan. I don't love the emperor, I don't like excitement, I don't strive for favor, and I don't engage in harem struggles. I'm indifferent to everything. What do those intrigues and power struggles have to do with me? I was forced to enter the palace and be a concubine. I'm a weak woman. I just want to live safely in the deep palace. I'll embroider and tend to the vegetables every day, facing the sea with spring blossoms."
Su Qingwen decided to turn over a new leaf and be a harmless little flower in the deep palace. She would only carry out photosynthesis and contribute to others, and would never participate in any harem activities.
[System: I haven't finished yet, dear~ But if it's Hua Yueye's harem, your chances of winning are 100%!]
Hearing this from the system, Su Qingwen immediately stood up full of energy. System, system, why do you say so? Am I the most beautiful, the smartest, and the most clever among the three thousand beauties?