Cheng Yu!
You're the most thick - skinned man I've ever met!
Your face is thicker than a copper wall!
Just as I was touched and about to hug him, he covered my face with one hand.
Just like a guy grabbing a basketball with one hand.
Then he pushed me half a meter away.
Me: ?
Cheng Yu: "My mind's in a mess. Leave me alone for a while."
Me: "Okay."
Then I backed towards the door.
Cheng Yu: "What are you doing?"
Me: "Leaving you alone in the room?"
Cheng Yu: "... Do you think I can sort out months of misunderstandings in just a few minutes?"
Me: "Then how long do you need?"
Cheng Yu: "I don't know."
Me: I looked at him pitifully.
Cheng Yu looked up at the sky at a 45 - degree angle: "Maybe I'll never get over this in my whole life."
Me: !!!
Cheng Yu put on his clothes and walked out. I clung to his arm like a sycophant, acting like a human brake and dragging my feet on the ground: "Don't go. We can face difficulties together!"
Cheng Yu broke free from me, looking extremely embarrassed: "Let go. I can't face you right now."
Me: Ah?
Why?
Is he afraid that I'll laugh at him for being so self - amorous and over - imagining things?
Don't be afraid.
I'll definitely laugh at you!
Any normal person would burst out laughing!
But all I could say was: "Baby, I'm sorry for making you misunderstand, but one thing's for sure. All the feelings you've invested weren't wasted. If you hadn't shown so much affection for me, how could I have regarded you as my closest friend when I thought you were my gay bestie? From another perspective, isn't this laying the foundation for our love?"
Wow.
I'm really a genius with a silver tongue!
I've even used the logic I use to persuade clients during meetings.
Cheng Yu was indeed a bit swayed, but there was still embarrassment, "Do you really think so?"
"Sure! Baby!" I saw a glimmer of hope and quickly struck while the iron was hot: "Think about it. If it weren't for that, how could I have developed feelings for you so quickly after I found out you're not gay? I must have been deeply in love with you unconsciously under your subtle affection. As the saying goes, it takes time for water to drip through a stone. My liking for you is definitely not something that happened overnight! It's definitely a case of quantitative change leading to qualitative change, baby!"
Oh my goodness...
I've even used idioms and physics knowledge.
I've really gone through a lot!
-
Actually, I can kind of understand Cheng Yu.
In high school, I misunderstood a boy as having a crush on me.
I even went to him and said, "I never thought you'd like me."
That boy said speechlessly, "I like your deskmate."
At that moment, everyone around was almost dying of laughter.
I was so ashamed that I wished I could dig a hole and hide in it.
But luckily, it was just one misunderstanding.
And for Cheng Yu, it's like the misunderstanding multiplied by N!
How much has he over - imagined to think he'll never get over this?
He looks so cold on the outside, but he's such a drama queen on the inside!
He secretly regarded me as his girlfriend. I wonder if he's even thought of names for our kids?
Hahaha...
Sorry.
He's really so embarrassing.
I really want to laugh!
-
I know the way to avoid embarrassing him is to never mention this from now on.
And the way to help him regain his confidence is to be even more thick - skinned than him from now on! Make him experience extreme embarrassment all the time! Then when he looks back on his own self - amorousness, he'll think, "Hey, what I did was nothing!"
Well.
I'm going to start my embarrassing flirting!
-
Our "Qiongyao - style" heroine Cheng Xiaoyu still insisted on leaving, but with my rich experience from following a hundred greasy playboy bloggers, I showed him an extremely greasy and disgusting "hand - kissing ceremony" and looked into his eyes affectionately.
Cheng Yu: "..."
Great.
The prey has been immobilized by my greasiness.
I deliberately spoke in a sickening whisper: "Don't go, okay?"
Cheng Yu: "Goodbye."
Me: Damn it!
-
Day 1 of being banished to the cold palace by Lord Yu: Good morning, good afternoon, good night.
No reply.
Day 2 of being banished to the cold palace by Lord Yu: Good morning, good afternoon, good night.
No reply.
Day 10 of being banished to the cold palace by Lord Yu: Good morning, good afternoon, good night.
No reply.
Good grief.
Does he have someone else?
Is he trying to break up with me?
-
I was so angry that I drowned my sorrows in wine and gorged myself at the buffet for an entire afternoon.
Suddenly, the waitress walked over, carrying a plate of freshly grilled steak that was sizzling and fragrant, "Miss, this is from the gentleman at the next table."
A while later, a waiter walked over, carrying a plate of king crab legs and putting it on my table, "Miss, this was ordered for you by the gentleman at the next table."
Me: !!!
Lord Yu?
Is it you, Lord Yu?
When I popped my head out like a marmot from its burrow and looked at the next table, I didn't see Lord Yu's dreamy figure. Instead, I saw a guy I hated.
I shouted across the room: "Qi Jiayuan! This is a buffet! Why are you sending things non - stop?"
Qi Jiayuan raised his glass: "To celebrate your breakup!"
Me: "Bah!!!"
-
Qi Jiayuan brought his plate over and sat at my table.
After obsequiously pouring me a glass of wine, he started his brazen attempt to poach me: "You and Cheng Yu are from different worlds. I'm actually quite impressed that you lasted this long before breaking up."
I ignored him and poured myself a glass of wine.
I found the bottle was empty.
Qi Jiayuan immediately opened a new bottle and filled my glass, "Are you two... really broken up?"
My heart ached, and I didn't want to talk.
Qi Jiayuan was overjoyed, "Does that mean I have a chance?"
I gave him a cold look, "I don't want to receive paper flowers on Valentine's Day every year. Thanks."
Qi Jiayuan: "I'm not only stingy, but I'll also hand all my money over to my wife. I'll spend whatever she gives me. A man with no money is the most worry - free. Can Cheng Yu do that?"
I thought about Cheng Yu's fortune... I wouldn't even dare to manage it if he gave it to me.
Qi Jiayuan: "You're so good at making money, and I'm so good at saving money. We're a perfect match. Forget about your breakup pain and fall into my arms!"
I just stared at him silently.
Then I lowered my head and sent a text message to Cheng Yu: [Qi Jiayuan said we're broken up and wants me to be his girlfriend. Boyfriend, beat him up for me!]
Ten minutes passed.
Cheng Yu still didn't reply.
During our hot - and - heavy days.
He always replied instantly.
Now... Does he really not love me anymore?
He's completely indifferent even when someone's trying to poach me.
I gave the expectant Qi Jiayuan a cold look: "You..."
Qi Jiayuan: "I'll be your boyfriend!"
"No!" I said helplessly: "I want you to pretend to be my boyfriend."
Qi Jiayuan: "That's not very appropriate, is it?"
Me: "I'll pay you! Ten yuan for one performance!"
Qi Jiayuan: "One hundred!"
Me: "Fifty!"
Qi Jiayuan: "Deal."
-
As soon as we walked out of the buffet restaurant, I got into Qi Jiayuan's Maserati. Before I could close the door, Qi Jiayuan was dragged out of the car and beaten against the car door.
I poked my head out and saw, hey, it's Cheng Yu!
I was instantly overjoyed.
He just couldn't hold his temper after all.
Humph.
I'll definitely act like a loving couple with Qi Jiayuan later. Let's see if you dare to ignore me for so long next time!
But that useless Qi Jiayuan crawled over the car hood in a hurry, dragged me out of the passenger seat, and cleared himself completely: "I'm innocent, Mr. Cheng! She told me to do it! Zhou Yinyin asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend just to make you angry! This woman is so vicious!"
Cheng Yu glared at me fiercely, got into the sports car, and drove away without looking back.
Me: "Qi Jiayuan, I'll castrate you!!!"